More $s for More Zs

In support of the power nap

Source: Wikimedia Commons

I wish the power nap — or better yet, the afternoon siesta — was part of the American culture. I know some tech companies have nap pods onsite, but the concept of napping really isn’t celebrated in this country. It’s a shame.

Capped at thirty minutes, the power nap isn’t quite sufficient for me. It may work for some. I read that you should drink espresso or coffee immediately prior to a thirty-minute nap, after which you are guaranteed to rise feeling more energetic than if you hadn’t taken the caffeine. Unfortunately, since caffeine doesn’t work on me, I can’t confirm whether this approach works. 

I prefer the siesta, which provides for 1–2 hours of relaxing. Unfortunately, I don’t foresee the business world embracing a two-hour daily nap. 

While there is some data to back up the case for naps boosting productivity, I can’t personally vouch for whether it does. I do know that me being sleepy certainly doesn’t help.

If I ever find myself in a position of having to take on a second job, it’ll be as a live advertisement for a mattress store. I once saw a young man wearing a twin sized mattress dancing on the corner of a shopping plaza. He wasn’t crazy — he was working to bring customers into the nearby store. It was fantastic. That appeals to me because I could just lay down for a nap whenever I want. And still be advertising the store!

If I’m being honest, the life of a sloth or a koala really appeals to me. Any of those creatures that subsist on a diet of leaves and therefore lack the energy to be awake for more than 2–3 hours a day. 

My body’s internal clock is broken. Always has been. Circadian rhythms don’t apply to me. I’m most productive from 10 PM — 1 AM, which basically leaves me with comedy as the only viable career option. But my job — which pays the bills — is a typical 9–5 sort of thing. Time may be relative…but it’s also fixed when you work a day job. I just wish those jazzy circadian rhythms would put me to sleep on time.