Social Justice Warrior

The perils of seventh grade

Source: Wikimedia Commons

Seventh grade in public school was like a dystopian future where lawlessness was the only constant. Good thing I’ve been a social justice warrior since long before Instagram gave people a reason to do so.

Math class was much worse than just the problem of math problems. There were two events we could count on occurring every day of the week.

First, our Latino teacher pronounced the word subtract as “substract,” and all the awful boys in class would mock him for it.

Second, a boy named Boris would sexually harass a girl named Jujuby with the exact same line: “What size bra do you wear, Jujuby?”

Squirming in her seat, she would otherwise pretend that no one was addressing her. In fact, everyone in the class acted like it wasn’t happening.

I would cringe and think are there no authority figures at this school that can keep these horrible, horrible children in line?

Every day, day after day, this idiot boy would say, “What size bra do you wear, Jujuby?” I think it was his immature way of flirting with her. However, this sexual harassment impacted everyone in the entire class who had to listen to it.

One day, I decided I’d had enough. “What size underwear do you wear, Boris?!” I heard myself say.

Now it was Boris’s turn to act like no one was addressing him. The whole class sat facing forward in their seats pretending that they hadn’t heard anything. I thought what I said was brilliant; a hilarious burn worthy of a round of applause. The dead silence after I spoke felt awkward, but I’d prefer crickets to Boris’s stupid insults any day.

I thought Jujuby might thank me later for standing up for her in my own weird way, but she never mentioned it.

It’s so weird to think that Boris is perhaps a CPA now, or a police officer, or is in any way employed at all. I think behavior like that should stay on a person’s permanent record. He should be a pariah. I can’t find him on LinkedIn, so perhaps he is in fact living in a cave somewhere with no one to love him. I hope wherever he is, he’s got his big boy underwear on.